dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
