Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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