I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just high enough for therapy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
