Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
