how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
