we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
