she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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