Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
