I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
