So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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