How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Randomize
