I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
