she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
