By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
