I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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