Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize