You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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