I'm going to jail i love you
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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