I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
