Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
