And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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