we're chasing vodka with high fives
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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