I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
