Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
