Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
