Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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