i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
