who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
