how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
