You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
