Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
