can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
50% drunk capacity currently
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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