I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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