So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
