Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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