My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
