I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
