I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hippo gnu deer
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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