Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
