I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
