he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize