you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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