worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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