I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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