No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize