great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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