After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
