go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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