It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
