Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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