Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
