I hate your face
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
