If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
