I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
