i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize