It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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