i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize