As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
