I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
