Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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