everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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