i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish i was in the wii world.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
