dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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