Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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