non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize